Desperate Measures
by SummerKnight3
Summary: With Alfred out of town, some of the household responsibilities fall to the batboys.


Tim sensed something was wrong the moment Dick stepped into the living room. He glanced at Jason, who was sprawled on the sofa. He seemed not to have noticed Dick's arrival.

"Guys, we have a problem."

Dick's words confirmed Tim's suspicion. It was a phrase he'd used dozens of times over the past two weeks, ever since Bruce and Alfred had left on a business trip for Wayne Enterprises. Apparently the Wayne household could not run itself for even a day without a certain English butler. Sighing, Tim asked "What is it this time?"

"The washing machine, it, um, broke."

"Broke?"

"Uhuh, It wasn't working this morning so…"

"So?"

"I tried to fix it myself and ended up breaking it more. Repairman won't be here 'till Monday," he added. Jason seemed to take notice of him for the first time, " _You_ tried to fix it?" he turned to Tim, "Was there an explosion and I missed it? 'Cause I feel like there should have been an explosion."

"You always feel like there should be an explosion," Tim retorted. "So, what do you suggest we do to remedy said situation?" He asked Dick.

"Simple. We'll have to go to the Laundromat."

"The Laundromat?"

"Desperate times call for desperate measures. It's either that or wash it all by hand."

"Laundromat it is then."

Tim searched online and found a Laundromat nearby. They weren't quite sure how they managed to fit all the laundry into Dick's car. It took at least three tries. There was a lot of shoving, and possibly a few swear words from Jason, before they were able to squeeze the three of them and all of the laundry into the car.

The Laundromat was a small shop tucked in the corner of a strip mall downtown. Inside, it was dim. It smelled strongly of laundry detergent and dryer sheets. One wall was lined with dryers. Along the opposite wall were perpendicular rows of washers. In the middle there were several tables and chairs and on the far wall there were two shelves labeled 'Book Exchange' filled with abused paperbacks. Next to the door there were two dispensers, one for coins and one for detergent, and a vending machine.

Dick faced one of the washing machines with a perplexed expression.

"You did bring quarters, didn't you?" Jason asked.

"No…"

"How 'bout soap?"

"Um…"

"Did you put any thought into this before deciding this was necessary?"

"Well…"

"Never mind. Got a twenty?"

"Yes, but are you sure it will cost that much?"

"For all this? Probably." Jason took the bill from Dick and approached the change dispenser. Tim was skeptical. "Do you think that machine even works?"

"Let's hope so, or _you_ get to come up with another brilliant idea, bright boy"

So, armed with quarters and laundry soap, they went to work. A woman entered the Laundromat with a basket on one hip. The boys shifted slightly as she selected a washer on the same row as them, hoping she wouldn't notice the blood-stained Kevlar they were loading into their washer. She was gone by the time they finished. Jason stepped outside to light a cigarette. Tim opened his computer to work on mission reports from the previous night.

Nearly fifteen minutes later, Dick was absorbed in a text conversation with Barbara when Jason came back inside.

"Um, Dick. I don't think the washer is supposed to be doing that," he said. Dick glanced up. There was a mountain off bubbles forming around the door of the washer, spilling out over the floor.

"Oh, crap!"

"What do we do?" Tim asked.

"Well, we've got to stop it somehow," Dick pointed out. With no other idea how to stop the machine, Dick pulled the door open. A cascade of water poured out, soaking him and Jason. Tim managed to dodge just in time. Jason swore.

"Brilliant, Dick, brilliant. Any more bright ideas?" Jason said. Dick looked guilty and pitiful; he spoke quietly, "I wish Alfred were here." He glanced at Tim, who took pity on his older brother and pulled out his phone.

"Okay, so our original problem was that we put in too much soap. Um… so if we switch washers and run it again without soap we should be good." Dick took a deep breath, "Okay, let's get started."

It took a while for them to move all the clothes to a new washer and clean up the water on the floor. By the time they were done, they were all soaked, even Tim. With the excitement over and the washer started, the three of them settled down again. Dick took a book from the book exchange to pass the time.

The book exchange was two small shelves of cheap paperback romances and thrillers. A sign invited Laundromat patrons to take one book and leave another. There was a very small collection of authors on the shelves. Half of the collection was made up of two authors Dick had never heard of. He got about half way through the first chapter before putting it back.

"Who reads these anyway?"

"Nobody with taste" Tim said without looking up from his computer, "That's why they end up here."

Forty-five minutes later the washer finished. The washer didn't play a tune when it finished like the one at the manor. Dick said he was disappointed. Jason said the tune was annoying.

"But it's such a happy tune!" Dick objected.

"That's why he doesn't like it," Tim said. The drying of the clothes went without mishap.

"Should we fold it?" Dick asked.

"Nah," Jason dismissed the idea.

"We should at least fold the sheets," Dick decided. Unfortunately for the boys most of the sheets were fitted. After several sad attempts, Tim looked up a tutorial online. With that to guide them, the boys managed to somewhat fold the sheets, though they were not the perfectly neat folds that Alfred would have been able to achieve.

"It's good enough for who it's for," Jason stated.

"Is that everything?" Tim asked as they loaded the clothes into the car.

"I think so," Dick replied, "Now what?"

"How 'bout dinner? I'm starving," Jason suggested.

"Sounds great. I saw a place down the road that looks like it could be good," Dick said. He checked his pockets, "Do you think they'll accept quarters?"


End file.
